I’m sitting here at my massage therapy practice, having just finished up for the week, and I am struck with such a wicked feeling. I’m calm, grounded and I have zero sense of urgency. Urgency about what, you might be wondering…
I remember times, even as a teenager getting off work on Friday evening at the bakery, when I felt almost frantic about “getting alcohol.”
Whether it was finding someone who could buy it for me and my friends, or I was old enough and just felt super rushed and anxious about figuring out where and what I’d be drinking within a few hours of getting off work, it was a TO-DO that was top of the priority list. Actually it was my only priority. I was just itching to get the weekend going, which meant get drunk. It really pisses me off that there were literally no other things that I was excited to do. Fuck. But that’s a whole other can of worms for another post..or many.
There’s a quote from a book called Parched by Heather King that Belle introduced me to:
drinking is never actually fun, but it always feels like you are about to have fun in 15 minutes.
I think my panic about figuring out ASAP what do drink, how to get it, and where to drink it and who with, came from this concept. The sense of panic never really went away. I remember it at parties, jumping from one conversation to the next or one room to the other like a bumble bee, because it was never actually that fun…but that sense of it being ABOUT to be fun was there the whole time. Anyways.
Now, I sit here with no need to get out of here as fast as I can…clearly, since I’m sitting here blogging. The point is that not letting alcohol have that weird hold on me is awesome. It’s been a long time since I felt that power over me and it’s really liberating to be free of it!!!!
Does it have that hold on you? Or did it in the past? Can you relate to this?
Have an awesome weekend!!!