In 2019 I made a vow not to run a full marathon in 2020. It was time for a break. I ran a final pair of marathons on back-to-back weekends in October 2019 (Victoria, Kelowna, went better than would be expected) and figured that would do me for a while and let me focus on other things like finishing school, starting a business and making money again. I also wanted to focus on other distances like the 10k and half marathon for a while – more manageable with respect to both time and energy.
A few months later, in March 2020, I was sitting at home in Prince Rupert, unplanned, in the depths of pandemic shock and depression. Like many others, I was shitting my pants about the unknown. Aside from obvious pandemic concerns like potential illness or death of loved ones and all of society, I worried myself sick about everything. Would I be able to finish school? We were so close! Should I drive 32 hours round-trip to get all my stuff that I didn’t bring home for the one-week-turned-four-month-long reading break? I was broke and stressed and the thought of going back to my former career made me actually sob. LOL. My husband continued to work, his situation more or less unchanged, and I was at home feeling like a useless turd, getting more depressed by the day. I really needed something to look forward to and work at, so I signed up for CIM 2020 in December. I honestly believed the pandemic will be over and done with by then, of course! LOL. I was willing to break the no-marathon in 2020 vow. It got me focused and following a plan closely until about September, and helped immensely with my mental health, but alas, CIM 2020 was of course cancelled and the pandemic was far from over.
*side note, CIM offered such a great worry-free registration due to what was going on in the world. We were allowed to defer to 2021, 2022 or 2023!
Nobody could have predicted the shit storm that this coronavirus would cause in both very serious and not so serious ways, but regardless, I definitely didn’t expect it to be late 2021 to early 2022 until things would start feeling sort of normal again! It seems we’re more or less out of it, and I’m so extra thankful for many, many things at this interesting point in time. My health and the health of my friends and family, my new career and business, that I didn’t drive my husband away (LOL), a lot of lessons learned over the last two years, and that my favourite thing is back! Running events, both near and far!!!
In January I took my chances travelling to the US for a race (and then Mexico, hehe) and it all worked out great. I had no problems and my race went fantastic. It feels so good to be back at it! I did run a half marathon in Victoria this past October and it was fun, but it mostly felt like a pandemic rust-buster. Between that race and Houston in January, I worked my ass off in the darkness, our monsoon season (okay it never really ends HAHAHA), snow, ice and also in my pain cave downstairs on the Devil’s Conveyor Belt. Under the guidance of my coach who I’ve been working with since last May, I set myself up to run the best race of my life, and it was the perfect transition point into the first real marathon training cycle since 2019!!!
On May first I’m heading to Oregon to run the Eugene marathon and I have never been this pumped for the 42.2 experience. I ran twelve marathons from May 2016 to October 2019 (wouldn’t really recommend) so it feels like it’s been forever! As people, I do believe we are always evolving, but I personally feel like I’ve evolved a LOT in the last couple of years especially. As a person who runs (I’m working on calling myself that instead of a runner), my running & training has evolved as well. The time off and the challenge of discovering different ways to stay motivated did me good, and I’ve heard that from other people who run as well.
Marathon training picked up after a week off following Houston, and then one more week of only easy running. Some of the workouts have already been killer and it’s feeling REALLY good to keep working hard but targeting 42.2 this time around. It’s been a while since I used this platform to write about shit. I forgot how much more efficient typing is vs. writing with a pen.
Time to put in the work and head to the finish line at Hayward Field for marathon #13. I’d like to try blog a bit as a training journal on this one because it feels so special and my confidence is in a really good place.
Do you have any big goals for 2022, running or non-running?
The Aramco Houston Half, which is part of Chevron Houston Marathon weekend in January, is a race I was wanting to run for quite a few years. It is known for being very flat and fast and, not counting the World Majors, is one of the most hyped up races I’m familiar with in North America. The elite field is usually awesome and many of the pros run this one with goals of breaking various records. So exciting!! On that note, this year, the women’s American Record in both the full and half marathons were broken by Keira D’Amato and Sara Hall, respectively. The Canadian men’s half marathon record was also broken by Rory Linkletter. Incredible.
As a northern BC’er, ideally I didn’t want to travel all that way just for a weekend (though I would..) so I planned to head over to Cabo for five nights on Monday after race weekend. It was gonna be amazing regardless, but I reminded myself that Mexico would be even better if I was celebrating a great race.
I flew into Houston on Friday evening from Vancouver via Toronto. It was later than I’d like but not so late that I couldn’t walk from my AirBnB in the Montrose neighbourhood to Trader Joes for lots of snacks.
Late Saturday morning I did an easy 30 minute shakeout run towards the George R. Brown Convention Centre (GRBCC), which is where the expo is always held and also where the race starts and finishes. The expo was pretty awesome, and it’s been a long time since I was at a bigger one so I was excited. Bib and package pickup was very organized, and even though I didn’t actually get there right at my selected time, it seemed that the scheduling of time slots for participants really helped to spread out the crowd. There were some cool photo ops, great vendors, samples, the usual for a big expo. Excitement was building! The race shirts were only given out for finishers on Sunday, but everyone got a huge beach towel!! I think that’s a sweet piece of swag and it went well with my travel plans hehe..
I met up with my IG buddy John (@johnbreen_runner) and his lovely wife and we went for the most insane vegan Mexican late-lunch extravaganza. The place is called Cascabel and it was 11/10 sofa king good!!!
The rest of my night was spent laying out my gear, eating cereal in bed, listening to podcasts and praying that the wind would calm down. It was so windy that all the potted plants and the patio furniture in the AirBnb yard were strewn around and smashed and blown over! I was also quite surprised at the temperature – I didn’t expect hot or even warm, based on the history of the event, but it was zero degrees celsius!
My Uber was scheduled to pick me up just before 6am, and I was up a little before five to get cheerios and a banana into my gut, pound some water and green tea and then get ready. First race ever that I didn’t drink coffee before hand. Oh and side note, Uber is definitely surge pricing during COVID, holy shit.
It was so chilly I ended up layering a tank top and a Lululemon Swiftly tech t-shirt on top, shorts, gloves, and then a throw-away ear band, long sleeve old race shirt and zip hoodie. For afterwards I had a packable puffy jacket, a toque and some tights, just in case.
I think it was about 6:10 when I arrived at the GRBCCC, which is massive. At this race you get to stay inside until it’s time to go to the corrals. This gives the race serious bonus points! It was so cold and windy, and even though I brought those throw-away clothes, I now wanted to save the hoodie to layer under my puffy jacket after the race, so I stuffed it into my checked gear bag and did some of my initial warm-up jogging inside. The long sleeve would have to do! The place is so big that tons of people were jogging around in there on the carpet. I can’t explain how valuable this was, having the option to stay warm for a little longer.
At 6:35 I started jogging towards the A Corral (all signage was big and clear). The gate for that corral closed at 6:45 and I wanted my place in there, so I made sure not to be late. You can submit previous finish times when you register for this race which allows you to start further towards the front. Once in there, I jumped around to the music and kept warming up/staying warm, while looking for the 3:25 marathon pacer who I wanted to run with for a bit, at least at first, to hide from the NW wind that would come at us while running west for the first ~4 kilometres. There were tons of porto-potties inside the convention centre and along the way to the start corrals – no problems with pre-race bathroom visits.
This event doesn’t have half-marathon pace groups, but the half and full marathoners all run together til the courses split just before 8 miles (~12.5 km). But, you can do some simple math and join a marathon pace group for more than 50% of your half-marathon, if you want! I wanted a pack to tuck into if the wind was too aggressive.
The 3:25 pacer entered the corral pretty late, but I did see the 3:30 sign and positioned myself in front of it accordingly until the 3:25 guy showed up. Finally I saw him but I heard him telling another runner his strategy and I was no longer sure I wanted to run with that group. Hmm. But it was national anthem time and then we started moving forward to the start line! The gun and the elites went off at 7:01. There is a funnel-style set up before the start mat, so you can actually spread out a bit before crossing it and it made it far less congested than other large races I’ve run. It was good.
Some people don’t pay any attention to the course map or wind direction, but I studied the map as well as a YouTube course preview at least 50 times between October and January, and it was really helpful for me.
That pace group went out a bit hot, and after the first mile I basically just kept them in my sight but didn’t obsess about staying right in it. The NW wind wasn’t terrible and I was around enough people to tuck in if I needed.
My plan was to run as even as possible (super flat course) and then pick it up subtly in the last quarter of the race, depending on how I felt. I planned to manual-lap at the mile markers for both accuracy and a mind trick, and try not to look at my watch otherwise. Even though my goal pace was 4:50/km, I chose to think in 7:47/mile. Pace per mile has very minimal meaning to me – no emotion, no associations of any kind. I am a metric runner and though I’m pretty well-versed in converting, I train in metric only. Also, 13 laps vs. 21 laps feels more manageable. For anyone who is purely metric, a mile is 1.61km. I didn’t eliminate pace/km from my Garmin screen, but all I was looking for was 7:47s.
I must have gotten into a pretty good flow state because I definitely did not manual lap at every marker! Oops. But, the fact that at one point I had run 4 miles without hitting lap felt really good, plus I love math so I did some calculations and conversions in my head. “yay, you just ran 6.44km on pace and didn’t even notice” LOL. I was running extremely consistently and feeling fluid and focused.
The aid stations were fantastic. There were eight total, and they were set up long with tons of volunteers. There were so many opportunities to grab water and/or gatorade – it wasn’t too crowded and I was able to get what I needed and wanted at every one. I can’t comment on the gel station(s?), I don’t even know if they were separate or at one of the hydration stations, I didn’t notice and was using my own Maurten gels. As for spectators and cheering stations, I remember there were quite a bit but I don’t recall any specifics cause I was definitely in the zone.
Speaking of fuelling, one thing I need to step up my game on is remembering to take my gels! I don’t have a religious routine, but usually every 30-40 minutes. I was late on both in this race, but didn’t forget thankfully!
I hit lap seven times in the entire race, including the finish line. Each time I did I felt like I was sweeping away what I’d run up to that point, and could reset my focus. I liked doing this and I will use that method again. Working in miles kept my mind off how far I’d run and how much farther I had to go since it doesn’t come naturally to me to use that unit of distance. I was totally engaged in running in the moment and didn’t think about the finish line or time until I made the final turn.
The Aramco Houston 1/2 course is flat as a pancake, with only 7 or 8 turns in total and long, straight stretches. I found that it really allowed me to find good flow, save energy and compartmentalize. Divide and conquer. That final right turn at almost exactly 18km has a very tall building which I noted the first time I watched that course preview on YouTube back in October. When it came into my view while I ran the second-last (and windy) straight stretch north in the race, I felt so calm and happy like I’d been here before and I was picking up my pace a bit right as planned. Blow at High Dough by the Hip came on and I was like fuck yeah I am Canadian let’s do this! ahahaha!! I told myself “get to that turn and then get to the finish, that is all you have to do!” I knew there would be a tailwind, too, as we would finish running east to the finish. F yes!!!
I obviously wasn’t going to go balls deep for 3k, but I pressed a little and then just past the 12th mile marker and time clock, I hit lap and dug deeper for the final mile and a bit. My math brain was still working and I knew as long as I didn’t slow down my goal of 1:41:xx would be mine. Then Work It by Missy Elliot came on and that was it. I checked a few times and watched that final lap pace drop, knowing I would be able to celebrate in Mexico!
That was my best race execution ever, I believe. I stayed present and patient the whole time, negative split the thing and finished strong – and ran a very funny time, considering my goal. 01:40:59 haha!! I was so happy as I made my way through the finish chute, getting my medal and water and chocolate milk (my fave). What a way to begin 2022!
Another amazing thing about this race is the finish chute basically leads you back into the convention centre! I was getting warm and collecting my gear bag less than five minutes after crossing the finish line!
WOOOHOOOO!!!! I sat in the sun in the “Run Fest” area for a bit, just soaking in my race and rehydrating/stretching, and I’m glad I had the hoodie, jacket and toque cause it was still very chilly out, though a gorgeous day. John’s wife, B.A. and I met up and we drove to a cheering spot on the full marathon race course to see him, and then relocated again to watch him bring it home for his 8th full marathon! Then we went for more vegan Mexican at Taco Deli (also YUM) and everyone was full and happy.
They headed back towards Dallas, I headed into my bed, and then to the airport super early.
The Aramco Houston half rocks. Although a PR can cause some serious bias, I really feel like this event was amazing in so many ways. The overall logistics, the course itself, aid stations, spectator support, swag and the convention centre all made it fantastic. I’ve never been able to stay warm and dry right up until the race, in a building so large you can do your warm-up inside of it if you want. I’d highly recommend this race and hope to run it again some day myself!
Okay my fellow sober friend sent me this meme today and I can’t stop laughing at it and it’s making me so happy. It’s fuckin hilarious BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!
A lot of people seem to think that giving alcohol the boot = things like being serious, boring, shy, un-fun, etc. Incorrect! Once I started to really get the hang of not drinking, which I would estimate took me about 100 days (Belle would be so down with that estimate), I could slowly start to feel more and more authenticity oozing out of me on a regular basis.
I feel like every sober person I know would more or less agree with me on this statement – I have learned more about myself in my 5.5 years of not drinking than I did in all my years getting pissed. I finally really started to learn what I like, love, and am FUCKING OBSESSED WITH with respect to the world, other people, myself and life as a whole. The fucks I give went WAY DOWN, although I probably gave fewer fucks than the average person to begin with, but still. My bravery and spontaneity increased, too.
So what I am saying is stay weird and have fun figuring out who YOU are. I personally think it’s easier to do without all alcohol’s empty promises and chaos.
Ah, May Long. The prototype binge drinking occasion of my past. A weekend to drink as much beer as possible. A time to get falling-down drunk, dip into malnourishment, think it was hilarious, maybe cry about a bunch of drama, and then suffer post-shit-show depression on Tuesday, because of course I was getting day-pissed all day on Monday, too. By Wednesday, though, I’d be feeling a bit better, convince myself it wasn’t that big of a deal and be ready to rock & roll again. Repeat cycle of feeling like a piece of shit.
I shit you not, one year my friends and I drove out to the camping destination mid-week before hand and BURIED beer like it was the Knights Templar treasure because we heard the police were going to be dumping alcohol or something..(we were minors). Even into my later 20s though, no matter the what/where/who of the weekend, it was always about alcohol for me. At the time I didn’t recognize that, and if I did, I definitely wouldn’t have admit to it.
To this day I continually try to understand WHY for my entire teens and 20s I had this misunderstanding of what “fun” actually meant. Why did I associate the words “party” or “celebrate” with alcohol consumption? There was no question about it for me. The phrase “I’m not drinking tonight” was literally not a thing. I never uttered those words and I was bewildered and totally judgie (read: uncomfortable, insecure, jealous) when someone else did.
Somehow I am now approaching my sixth sober May long weekend. Tons of people still can’t fathom how one experiences and enjoys a token party weekend without any booze whatsoever. Sometimes I can still barely believe that this is my reality now, but IT IS and it FUCKING RULES.
I recently wrote about examining the five sensory experiences that appeal about any situation as a way to break down the real reasons why the situation is enjoyable. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touch sensations, along with the emotions that come with all of it, AND, so importantly WHO YOU ARE WITH, are the things to focus on. Then, add on things like replacement beverages, favourite things (clothing, gear, journal, pyjamas, whatever) and TREATS of any kind, and you are setting yourself up for success.
If you’re in a situation where you may find that everyone is drunk and annoying you, have a back-up activity or place to escape for a little bit. Think ahead about how you want your weekend to be spent. When I was a drinker, alcohol consumption was treated like an activity or an event – sitting around getting wasted for 72 hours. Don’t get me wrong, I intend to do a lot of relaxing this weekend, but I don’t want to sit around in camping chairs the entire time! Make a list of some things that would make you really happy to do and that would leave you feeling fulfilled. Here are some of the things I will do over the course of my cabin weekend
have at LEAST one solid nap on the porch
2 runs (Saturday, Sunday)
Finish A Man Called Ove
Read a chapter in Meb for Mortals
guided meditation Sat, Sun & Monday
cold water dip Fri eve and then Sat, Sun, Mon mornings
one 30 minute yoga sesh
Another list I have made is for packing all my favourite getting weird outfits and campfire clothes, favourite jammies and anything I need so I don’t freak out about being “out of routine” from being away from home (highly sensitive person problems).
It always seemed like a good idea to (try to) quit drinking the Tuesday after the long weekend. I knew depression, shame, regret and chaos were coming, but it wasn’t enough to deter me. I didn’t know how to be a sober person, and why would I have? We aren’t taught that! Society celebrates alcohol and puts it on a pedestal while shaming other abused substances. I just heard on the radio about a bunch of parks down south that now allow people to drink alcohol in public, and this is to “encourage people to spend time outside”. As if people can’t fucking go outside without drinking??! What in the actual fuck.
For people who can’t (don’t, won’t, whatever) moderate, not drinking is actually easier when you give it a chance. I can’t even wait to get away for the weekend and get sober May long #6 under my belt. Let me know if you need a hand with any of this shit cause it’s not easy and it definitely doesn’t come naturally to most of us in this society!
Okay so ya, I know I go on and on about sober life. How it’s the shit and everything is better (not ALL better, but better in every way vs. booze life) and I share about it because I want to spread the magic.
Since I started coaching in February, I have come to find that 1-on-1 coaching reignites my sober fire and makes me want to run around my house in my pink faux fur coat singing and dancing!!! Helping someone unbuckle the limits of stupid alcohol and develop new perspectives on how doing so promotes a life-upgrade in all areas, is as fucking awesome as my own sobriety. I have a call coming up with someone in Week 4/5 and I feel like it’s race day or something.
Not drinking really seems to be catching on. I meet people who don’t drink and it feels like a secret club. I think I am going to make up a secret handshake, actually.
If you wanna get weird with me and keep growing the club, hit me up. This is fun.
I ran into a friend at the coffee shop this morning and I told her I was having some Monday anxiety. Nothing major but I feel it. Recently I posted about how Mondays don’t affect me the way they used to when alcohol was still part of my life, but when I thought about it again today I realized that there’s still some shit there.
Honestly, I don’t know if I sometimes still associate Monday mornings with past feelings of guilt, shame, regret (you know, drinking feelings) or if it’s just an anti-climax from a great weekend… who knows.
Either way, what matters is that when I stop and check myself, I am reminded that all is well. I actively assess my situation: I don’t have a hangover, I feel awake and healthy. I didn’t spend $200 yesterday on Caesars or blonde ales. I don’t have the shakes and a migraine, I can ground myself. There are groceries in the fridge, I slept alright and my days off were spent having a wicked time outside and being fully present for all of it.
So maybe I haven’t fully dominated EVERY Monday morning, but that’s okay. I hope you have a great week!!
JammieKomadina 