the SMELL of sobriety! LOL

OKAY so I was at my friend’s boutique yesterday and she has a great selection of fancy candles. The saleswoman (another fabulous friend of mine) says, “smell the Yuzu + Birch, it’s my favourite!“

So I pick up this heavy, swanky candle and take a long smell…my eyes went big and I said to her “THIS IS WHAT SOBRIETY SMELLS LIKE!“

Yes. It has a smell. Fresh, natural, happy. Like forest and beach and wood and wind and bike riding and coffee. Okay it just smells awesome. Like freedom and happiness in general.

Scent can be a powerful trigger of emotions and memories – I don’t know what exactly I was associating the smell of that candle with but it was ALL good feelings. This is just another experience that shows me that the lifestyle upgrade that I consider a sober lifestyle to be, doesn’t get old. Even 1886 days in!

Happy Hump Day!

Sober Life is like a Mary Oliver quote

I’ve been more committed to practicing gratitude lately and I base it around one general concept to get me started. I’ll try to explain.

So back in the day whenever I had anything from a severe hangover to just the tail-end of mild hanxiety, I would emotionally assault myself about why I, AGAIN, was feeling like dog shit and wishing that I hadn’t gotten drunk. During this process I’d have this vision, or daydream maybe you could call it, of what it would be like to be a person who could say truthfully and confidently out loud “I don’t drink.” It felt like being in fresh air, or being in the forest in the Fall, alone, something like that. It felt exactly like a freaking Mary Oliver quote and gave me butterflies but also made me sad because I couldn’t avoid getting drunk long enough to make my life like that. It was just a wish.

I thought about it all the time, probably daily, and it came in two versions. The first was kind of a combination of the feelings that can come up when seeing someone’s “perfect” life (i.e. highlight reel) on Instagram, mixed with seeing a woman in a cute outfit who’s out for a morning run looking happy and peaceful while I was on the bus to UBC trying not to vomit or have an anxiety attack. This version is based on wanting what we don’t have.

The second version was more like what I first described, the Mary Oliver quotes! This version is based on knowing what we want and knowing it’s possible, somehow, but still feels really far off…

So, back to the gratitude practice. I remind myself that everything I wanted back then, I HAVE IT. Fresh air. Rainy runs. Trails. Morning coffee without nausea. A sense of being grounded that I can tap into if I decide, even on days that are overwhelming or stressful. All I have to do is think about the fact that as long as I pay attention, life now feels like Mary Oliver quotes most of the time, and it’s fucking awesome.

What do you have now that you always wished for? Happy Sunday xo

Jamie

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Work with me!

“How to Quit Drinking”

“How to Quit Drinking.” – an instruction manual I searched for off and on for close to ten years.

This of course was after searching for a few other things (also over and over again) that by now I’ve learned are super common for many people to poke into a search engine. Things like:

“help with drinking, not AA”

“how do you know if you’re an alcoholic?”

“is there a spectrum of alcoholism?”

“how do you know if you drink too much?”

“how do you know if you should quit drinking?”

“how to cure a hangover”

I wanted someone who: 1. was around my age, 2. had a similar history/patterns of unhealthy coping mechanisms and self-sabotage (though I don’t think I could have identified it this way at the time), and 3. had SUCCEEDED and didn’t hate their life, TO TELL ME HOW TO DO IT.

My questions for this imaginary person or instruction manual I couldn’t seem to find were along the lines of:

  • how do I quit drinking when it’s the only thing I really do?
  • how do I quit drinking when every person I know drinks?
  • how could I possibly function in this society? I’ll be an outcast
  • who will I hang out with if I quit drinking?

And, the question for ME that swirled around my head in various forms, but I never directly asked myself..

How can I ever live the life I want if my beiefs and behaviour don’t change?

Fast-forward to 2021. With the help of many others, I have become the instruction manual I used to search for. I took courses, implemented ALL I learned about confidence from Suzanne (self-awareness, facing fears, self-limiting beliefs, self-trust), read every book I could get my hands on, had a pen-pal, wrote a reflective blog, and finally got to know myself.

I can relate to you if you’re relating to this post, so reach out if you feel like it’s your time. I will help you embrace a sober lifestyle with confidence and pride so you can feel better, save money and have more time and energy!

xo Jamie

Good things are coming!

Wow okay I’m so excited about something ELSE ahah (always something, gotta stay excited!!!)

Today Suzanne and I decided to collaborate on a confidence & sobriety project!!! We have yet to establish exactly how it will materialize (virtual course, group program…) but the combination is going to help a lot of people, this I know.

Confidence is one of a few major components of my 5-Week Sober Lifestyle Coaching Program. I associate my successful sober lifestyle, as well as general love of life, with all of the work I have accomplished with Suzanne’s guidance since 2011.

If you have worked with Suzanne, read my blogs or testimonials about her life-changing confidence coaching, or are just feeling curious about her after reading the post I linked above, I want you to stay tuned about our collaboration.

Good things are always coming. Say it with me, “good things are always coming my way!“

Especially in these weird COVID’y times, I think it’s critical to stay excited and inspired – if you need a hand with any of that, please let me know

xo

Jamie

I didn’t want to get up this morning…

and then a thought popped into my head.. a thought you might think would have faded by now, or lost its excitement…

I DON’T HAVE A HANGOVER.

Seriously. Over 5 years later and I can check in with that before 6am, half conscious. It gave me some butterflies and I got up and made the coffee! After I chugged some water, I enjoyed my coffee in bed before I went downstairs to the treadmill!

Sobriety doesn’t get old. It might be trending, but it’s really not a fad because it doesn’t go out of style once you experience it. Personally, every day I try to remind myself that I now live the lifestyle that I wanted for YEARS but didn’t initiate for myself.

I am getting really excited to launch my sober lifestyle coaching program, the pilot project is underway and in March it’s officially a go. I can’t wait to help people live the life style they want. I always wished someone would say to me, “Jamie, stop Googling do I need to quit drinking and just let me help you DO it! Get off the fence!”. Now I will be that person for others.

Have an awesome day!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hello!

I know Valentine’s Day is really cheesy and annoying in a lot of ways, but I still want to send warm wishes.

Valentine’s Day directly relates to sobriety, in my opinion, because when you decide to get sober, you HAVE to decide that you deserve more and that you’re worthy of a higher-class lifestyle. This is self-love.

The term self-love makes some people gag. I get it. I don’t really like the sound of it either, it has a corny and basic bitch ring to it. LOL. But the CONCEPT is truly crucial to not just happy sobriety, but living happily in general.

Self-awareness, self-image, and all the layers of SELF-CONFIDENCE aren’t things that a lot of us were taught. These are skills, not just things you either have, or don’t. We have to work on them REGULARLY. These are the keys to being happy (again, my opinion), so today as a suggestion, answer these questions and then go about your day with the intention to feel strong, hard-core, unique and sure of yourself.

  1. What are my 2 favourite personality qualities about myself?
  2. What are my 2 favourite physical qualities about myself?
  3. What is one thing I am really good at?
  4. What is one thing people ask me for help or advice with?
  5. What do I have in my life today that I wanted SO BADLY five or ten years ago?

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU. Be positively selfish!

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